Penitence

Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent, and, as I was doing Morning Prayer this morning, it struck me that this is the season when Christians actually live up to one of our stereotypes. Kind of. There’s an image that Christians are too miserable, too guilty, too concerned with sin and their own wretchedness. Now, while there are a few who are, this is by and large an unfair picture of the church in my experience. However, Lent is the season when we are all encouraged to think about our own moral state, our sinfulness and wretchedness. And this seems odd at first, especially in a culture that regards guilt generally as a Bad Thing. But I think that it is actually a Good Thing.

The thing is that we rarely take a good look at ourselves. Most of the time, we (or, at least, I!) trundle along happily without looking too deeply at ourselves. Dealing with things at the time, as best we can, but not delving into the sources of our actions. Lent, however, is a time when we are encouraged to spend time measuring ourselves, to consider how we’ve been doing in our life. Possibly to give things up as part of that – not for simple abstinence but to free time and attention for this search of ourself.
This needn’t and shouldn’t be a morbid exercise – a spot of Spring cleaning does us a power of good just as it does our house! Weighing ourselves in the balance of our own expectations and God’s is not an easy thing; holding ourselves accountable means admitting our mistakes, reliving past hurts that we’ve experienced ourselves and that we’ve inflicted on others. But, without doing this, we cannot truly learn and move on. Worse than that, we all too easily delude ourselves into thinking that we’re actually doing quite well. Not perfect, of course, but not that bad really.
What about that guilt, though? Isn’t guilt unhealthy? This question comes from a culture that has misunderstood its own roots. The idea comes from the early psychiatrists, that unfocused guilt was harmful and led to mental disorders. However, this is a world away from guilt that has a specific cause and target. Such guilt is a powerful motivator and brake on our behaviour. It’s only when guilt becomes detached from specifics that it becomes harmful, washing around and swamping us.
Purposeful guilt makes us face up to what we’ve done and helps to prevent us doing it in future.
Without pain, there is no growth; but without joy, there is no reason to grow.
Lent is a time to be guilty, to admit our faults, to set things right again.
But Lent leads to Easter, winter to summer, guilt to joy.
So, have a terrible Lent. Be wracked with guilt. Look, admit, confess, learn, grow.

pax et bonum

Article posted at 6:19pm on 09 February 2005
Category: Faith, Musing

As one who had vowed to give up guilt for Lent,I’ll have to take issue with you on this John. I would agree that there is every need to take a long hard look at oneself but I think one can do that without the paralysis that is the most common by product of guilt. In my experience, guilt says “I am a worm, a rat bag, an out and out disaster…” and is so overwhelmed by this that it remains motionless, picking at the scab.Self knowledge and responsibility allow us, by the grace of God, to recognise where we fail and to move on from there..through the 40 days to the Resurrection.
Actually, we’re both after the same thing, aren’t we?- just differing in our definition of a word.

Kathryn () (URL)
11:47am on 11 February 2005

I think we are after the same thing – and I admit I was partly prompted to this post by yours :-)

I’m using “guilt” more in the legal than the emotional sense, I guess – the knowledge of fault rather than feelings of worthlessness. Indeed, that’s partly what I was trying to get at by talking about “unfocused” guilt. However, without both the knowledge of failure and a desire to do something about it, we don’t grow. And guilt, it seems to me, is what provides that desire. Guilt can do much more and become crippling, but it is essentially a useful emotion if kept in its place, it seems to me.

John ()
12:00pm on 11 February 2005

Y…that’s fine. Only question is how one prevents it from going off course in an unhealthy way,- something that the Church seems peculiarly good at encouraging. The amount of time I spend trying to persuade people that they are not only loveable but loved…

Kathryn () (URL)
12:34pm on 11 February 2005